Family Stuff.

To my tiny man, on your 2nd Birthday.

Sweet Hudson,

Today you turned 2 years old…. (What on earth?)

Little Dude, how is this even possible? I remember the day we found out that you’d be joining our family. I was lost in another world, thinking about you. There were so many things to be excited for, and so many things to freak out about. I guess that’s how it is when you have babies. I couldn’t wait to see you. I wanted to know if you’d have dark hair like Kilo, or blonde hair like Marshall. Turns out: Neither, perfectly your own- reddish, dirty blonde-ish. It has stayed that way. The red rarely showing, until your hair is glowing in the sunshine- that’s when you catch a glimpse of that perfect red tint.20150220_180827 I worried that you’d end up in the NICU for your 1st week of life, like your brothers. I prayed hard that we could have just one baby without the hard times in the NICU. You were born perfectly healthy. For the 1st time I got to hold my baby in the hospital room, feed him there, sleep with him right there with me. These seem like “small” things. They were big for me. I wondered if your brothers would be jealous of a new baby in the house, they weren’t. From the moment they saw you, they adored you. 20150303_202404.jpg

You have been such a sweet and adorable adventure these last 2 years….

You were the calm baby of our bunch. Kilo & Marshall were both very clingy babies. You didn’t need it so much. You didn’t mind hanging out and looking around for a while, instead of crying. You slept in your own bed almost every night without complaint. (Until recently, you like mom and dad’s bed a couple times a week now, but we’ll get back to it!) You didn’t cry often, but when you did you loved to be sung to, the same song I sang your brothers, You’ll be in my heart from the Tarzan soundtrack.

You taught me to be a little more patient. It took you a little longer to get to crawling, sitting, walking, talking… And for once, I was okay with that. I didn’t want to rush you. Partially because I knew I was done for once I had 3 mobile boy-toddlers in the house, but mostly because I loved watching every moment of you. You were tiny for your age, up until just over a year old, but you were always so happy and other than being skinny, you were healthy! 20150320_123609

Right before you turned 1, you caught R.S.V. (an ugly sickness, that can be especially dangerous for babies!) You spent a few days in the hospital until your breathing regulated, and the pneumonia went away. 20160109_100646

It was hard on you (and us!), but you made it through and became stronger. If there is one good thing that I can pull out of that experience, it’s that we NEEDED God. We always do. But when your little one is in the hospital and you really have no idea whether they will get better quickly, or get worse, you realize how completely powerless you are. It is not a completely hopeless feeling, when you also realize that the God who created that little one, is NOT powerless, and nothing that happens is a surprise to Him. We knew that God is sovereign… and it helped us to let go of the power we wished we had. Thankfully the outcome was a good one, in your case.

You turned 1. I probably cried, because I do that.dscn6707

I swear as soon as you hit 1, you chunked up in no time. You ate nearly everything we gave you. One of the first words you learned (other than “mom”, “dad”, and “ball”) was “snack”, but you called it NAACK.  Which I absolutely loved. You just loved a snack, all the time!! You were suddenly SO BIG. Here you are slowly starting to stand on your own… (the grass was as tall as your knees!)20160517_180119

I will always remember the first time I recorded you walking. We had been trying to get you to try for months, but anytime the spotlight was on you, you wouldn’t. I walked into the kitchen, and checked on you from the other side of the half door, where I watched you walk from a part of the couch and land on our throw pillow, You finally did it! I was newly into my 21 Pilots craze, and their song “Ride” was on. I remember the exact part he was singing, “I’ve been thinking too much, help me”…. Now EVERY time I hear that song it brings me back to the first time I watched you walk on your own. I love how music can do that…. especially when you have a horrible memory like mine…

Speaking of music, you love it. You spin around in crazy circles, dancing, until you eventually fall on your bum. If we tell you to be careful, you get mad and think we’re telling you to stop dancing, haha. But it’s not true, we have just seen you trip over Daddy’s drums one too many times while you spin. That doesn’t go well. You love playing the drums. You’re obviously still itty bitty, but you have moments where you pick up a good beat, you’ll figure it out in no time. Here you are hiding behind Daddy’s drums when we first brought them back upstairs.img_20161003_164836136

Kilo and Daddy used to always say “Hey BOO-BOO” in a loud, deep voice to make you laugh… and your laugh, oh man! You have had this hilariously raspy and deep laugh from the get-go. Now that you know how to make other people laugh, it’s one of your favorite things to do! Especially if you can get your big brothers to crack up. It is stinkin’ hilarious to watch all the crazy things you’ll try, just to get a giggle out of them. They think you’re dang funny. Just today, I got your brothers in bed for a nap and told them you’d be in after I took a few pictures for your 2nd Birthday. We just took simple pictures on the couch, and they could see everything you were doing from their bed. As soon as you noticed that, you did everything you could to make them laugh, as I struggled to get a still, calm, picture out of you. You pretended to sleep, you threw your balloon, your blanket, your Gummybear pup. It worked, they busted up! haha. Here you are “sleeping”, I love that you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself for being such a silly nerd!img_20170126_135800254

I love this age. You are so fun. You are starting to figure out what you like, and your personality is just shining through more and more as each new day comes around. The “baby” in you is fading, and you’re turning into this toddler kid. I am so torn. I am loving watching you grow, and finding out what you are all about, and who you will be… but I am also smack in the middle of having to say good-bye to your tiny-ness.

You are the baby of this crew, and as far as we know, that’s how it’s going to be. (Unless of course God surprises us with other plans.) It is bittersweet. I used to put away baby clothes in a bin, to save them for the “next one”. Now, I dread switching out your clothes because I know it means giving away what we no longer need… 3 baby boys worth of clothes. Many outfits worn by you and your big brothers… I’m having a hard time letting go of them! I know it seems silly, but maybe one day you’ll get it. Although, not likely, because I hear rumors that wives are the sentimental-about-odd-stuff ones… so…..

{All 3 of you wore this one as newborns. I don’t think I can do it.}20150209_164354

You still love your soft elephant blankie, you have hardly put the thing down since we gave it you around 4 months old. Some days you’d cry and cry, and once you were hugging your blankie, all was well in the world. You finally ditched the binky a few months ago. Your favorite stuffed animal to lug around is Gummybear pup, which makes me smile since he’s the stuffed animal given to me by your Daddy on our first Valentine’s Day together back in 2008. (along with 10,000 gummy bears, hence his name.) Right now you really love Mickey Mouse, and all the stuff your brothers love; Avengers, Paw Patrol, Cars….

You love your dogs. Still learning to say their names. They come out cazsh and Looz (Cassia and Lucius)

You are still small enough to let me lug you on my back sometimes, and that’s more of my favorite thing than it is yours. I just don’t want you to be too big for that yet… Yes we’re taking a bathroom selfie. Embrace it.img_20170108_113957502

You absolutely love your Daddy. You like to yell things to him in your BIG MAN voice. “AYY DAD!!”, “DOP (stop) DAD!!”, and of course all the loony lion roaring. You rough house, and joke with him. You love to read the Jesus Storybook Bible with him. I think he’s your favorite of the 2 of us. (not easy to admit) img_20160928_145728146

Kid, you are SO LOVED. This has taken me hours longer to write than I anticipated. One, because I didn’t do a “first year” one, so I’ve kinda mushed that into your 2nd year one… and Two, because as I look through all these pictures, there is just so much to reminisce.

You have taught me so much in the short 2 years you’ve been here. There are so many things I love about you. Thank you for making me smile every day. Thank you for your silly dances, that can make me smile no matter how I’m feeling. Thank you for showing me how important it is to take in each moment, and hold it close. Talking to a friend the other day, I realized this is the first time I’ve had the chance to enjoy this age without having a newborn. Kilo was 21 months when Mar was born. Mar was 21 months when you were born. Now you’re 24 months and I get to watch every moment a little more closely than I have before.

I make mistakes daily. I’m trying to teach you to love Jesus, but some days I’m a horrible example of His grace. Despite that, I hope you always know that I love you so fiercely. I always will. I will always do my best for you. Please forgive me when I fail. I hope and pray that you will always see me as a safe place. I pray you realize the amazing forgiveness and grace of Jesus at a young age, and that you walk in his ways throughout your life. I love you, son.

Happy Birthday, my little Hudson Jeremiah Aeryth.


January 26th 2017



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